Honestly.

Dear Europe,

Why are you so f'ing UGLY !

BLECHY!

Week (pant pant) One (pant)

Wow what a week! We are just wrapping up our first week at sea in Europe and it has been so overwhelming. On the ship route we were on before you had a lot of sea days, which are just that, days spent at sea. On these cruises there is no time to breathe. We are literally exploring somewhere every day. The days are also very long. We can get off the ship as early as 7 sometimes and not be back on until 6pm. I’m amazed anyone is awake. Ever. The shows were on Wednesday and went great. It’s a fast, fun, furious show that goes by so fast. We also did two scriptless improv shows in one of the lounges and they went well too. It’s a relief to have that first week out of the way. Now let’s get to the MEAT ! Let’s talk about the weeks European adventures!

Rome
We were in Rome on Thursday! This was a non-stop mover and shaker. First off, props to our Musical Director Brian Morris. This guy knows what he’s doing. He’s the only one that knows any Italian which is amazing, and he did this exact same route last year so he knows where he’s going……oh and he’s fun as hell. So Brendan and I stuck with Brian on Thursday and we kicked it off by going through St. Peter’s Square where we saw the Vatican. Two years ago when it was Pope Decision ’05 Brendan and I were on another ship. Since CNN was one of a few stations we got, we saw the square a lot and the tons of people waiting for the new Pope to be announced. It was surreal to be there walking through that actual place. After that we moved onto The Pantheon. Rome is so walk able and so fucking European. I mean that in the best way. Shops, restaurants, cute little nooks and crannies. During the Pantheon walk we stopped at a couple of great shops on the way. Brian also likes to shop. For good stuff. Like made-to-measure shoes and shirts. Italian style ya’ll. The real deal. This guy ain’t screwin’ around. So we stopped in a shoe store where we met a lovely woman named Daniela. She was learning English and showed us her book and cd to prove it. She was incredibly sweet and helpful with shoes and directions. The Pantheon is insane. It’s just bizarre to look up and see this ancient structure in the middle of a city. A lot of Rome is like this which is so beautiful. After the Pantheon we went and had an amazing lunch at a place Daniela had recommended. I’m learning that you should always ask the locals. We found out that morning that in Italy Thursday is the day they make the fresh gnocchi. Lucky f’ing US ! For those who don’t know what Gnocchi is they are heavenly, delicious sexy bites of potato dumpling pasta-eque goodness. If I had Gnocchi shop that’s how I would explain them. So we just happened to be there on Thursday when the new Gnocchi was birthed and holy shit was it great. Brendan had some of the house wine which was some of the best wine this gal has ever put her lips to. After lunch we booked it over to Trevi Fountain which is a massive, beautiful fountain. Europe has not disappointed on any architecture yet. I should also add that during this day we happened upon the church of St. Agnes which was Brian’s favorite, ate a ridiculous pastry filled with Nutella that was also heaven, drank 90 cappucinos and saw like 50 hundred more fountains and frescos. IT’S TOO MUCH! BRAIN EX…PLO…DING……

Livorno/San Giminano
My brain is back together. This next day I’ll describe has been the best day for me so far. I should also mention that this past week our director Matt and our producer Beth, were also along on the ship and accompanying us on our journey’s. Someone suggested that we rent a car on Friday and drive to the Tuscan countryside and explore a little town called San Giminano. So as soon as I heard this I piped up “I’LL DRIVE!” Now in all fairness to myself I do love to drive, I was one of two who could drive stick, and I get car sick pretty quick as a passenger so it helps in that respect. But, do I know any Italian? No. Am I familiar with any of the road signs in Italy? Absolutely not. Can I even tell you how far a Km is ? Suck it Metric and No. So we get a car and before I know it a nice Italian man from Hertz is leading me out of the port on his motorcycle and I have the five kids all packed up in the Peugeot station wagon ready for a Tuscan vacation. This ended up being an amazing drive. The Tuscan countryside is unbelievable. The driving is easy once you figure out how to maneuver around a damn roundabout. I also had the aid of Brian, Cody and a GPS system for navigation. Once we arrive in San Giminano we went into this delightful walled city and explored our pants off. Again, lots of shops, old buildings, delicious cappuccino and buttery pastry. It’s a miracle we’re walking as much as we are, or I’d be coming home in an 800 lb phylo dough case called my skin. The views were stunning. And even though there were a lot of people it was nice to be far away from the ship and away from a ton of tourists. We had another ridiculous lunch courtesy of Beth that included asparagus gnocchi, some delicious prosciuto, bruchietta, pasta that either had shaved beef or truffle on it (the jury’s out) and more house wine that would knock your socks off. They also snuck some wild boar on the anti-pasto plate, but I didn’t try it. And by snuck I mean no one knew what wild boar was in Italian, so we got what we deserved. The drive back was even more gorgeous and full of fields, vineyards, sunflowers and Tuscan homes. Everyone kind of dozed off which I liked because it let me drive and hang out with the Tuscan country by myself. We made it back in one piece, with time to spare. Brendan and I have definitely discussed getting a car again and venturing out. What a ball.

Saturday was France which I’ll describe in a later post and Sunday we were back in Barcelona for another full day. This trip has been such a dream so far and I can’t believe it’s only the first week. It’s overwhelming. I think we’re also just starting to get over the sleep schedule hump. It was worrisome for a bit, getting up at like 6am, sleeping for 4 hours in the afternoon. It feels better now. Thanks for being blog patient! These days are so long and exhausting so it might be a bit before I get to update. For those wondering how Penny is doing, she is thriving in the great up north. She’s gotten into a routine with the other pups and my mom is loving her up with kisses and treats ! Hooray ! Brendan and I are also going to figure out how to say “Can I pet your dog”? in every language on this trip. We’ve pet quite a few. Till next time !

I included a pic of the Tuscan countryside. I'm having a real hard time uploading today so more pics later !

(PS: If anyone can save me some internet time and e-mail me about something that would be great. How do I post pictures within my blog post ? Not just on the top or side. Email or leave a comment please !)

EU"ROPE ME IN" !

Hello blog fans !
Well we have arrived. We are truly getting it done. Where to start !

The flight to Europe was fine and very fast. And by that I mean an illegal painkiller and a half and two glasses of wine later I was feeling no anxiety. I think I was just also giddy to be going to Europe ! I wish I could fly everywhere in a 747 because you don’t feel anything on those babies. Props to Lufthansa for being a great airline. And having free booze.

We arrived in Barcelona and it was a quick trip over to the dock where our company manager Cody Dove met us at the gate. This guy is a pro, gentleman, scholar and just a good dude. He expedited us crew through a very long line of peeps waiting to get in and we al appreciated that. Having done a ship before, what they call “signing on” to the ship is the hardest and most annoying part. Especially after a 13 hour travel day. So Cody really busted out the Ola Wagon.

Our cabin here on the Jewel is great ! We are in a passenger cabin which is a little different from before but it is CHOICE ! It has two windows and plenty of space for Brendan and myself. The Jewel is a lovely ship. Almost like the Dawn, which we were on prior, but pimped out a bit more. It’s nice the layouts are similar so we already know where we’re going.

We are definitely still trying to adjust to the sleep factor. That first day we tried our damndest to stay up, but we ended up napping for about 2 hours. I feel like today is the first day I feel like I might be getting to feel normal. Yesterday Brendan and I were both up at like 6am. Come on body clock ! Git it together !

I have never been to Europe so everything is amazing ! Yesterday Messina Sicily was our first port and waking up was really like Christmas. You look out the window and you see the picture to the left. That is taken from the boat. Summer is lovely and you really just cannot believe you’re here. Our show is in the main theater tonight so we have only been able to get off for a couple of hours yesterday due to rehearsal. But it was enough to get a delicious cappuccino (see cast at right !) and see a church with the third largest pipe organ in Europe, the LARGEST in Italy. It was amazing.

So today we are in Naples and we aren’t leaving the ship because of rehearsal. No sweat, WE’LL BE BACK. It’s really sinking in how lucky we are and I can’t wait to see all these unbelievable places. Rome tomorrow !

(I apologize for the size of the pics, but loading these things are a bitch. Hopefully I'll have better luck later.)

TAKE OFF !

Today is the day ! Just finishing last minute cleaning, packing, cleaning and cleaning. I'll be sure to blog as soon as I can. Hot props to Meagan and Tom Flanigan for taking us to the airport and looking after our car for four months. We will be landing at 67o*k "Moon Time" in Barcelona. Actually, all I know is that it will be Sunday at 9:30am when we land and I can't go to sleep for like the next 30 hours or my sleep schedule will be screwed. HOORAY !

I leave you with a tantalizing pic of Brendan holding Penny. I'll take two tickets to that gun show! YEEHAA !

BULLET POINTS

This week has been a shitflurry of busy as you can imagine. Above are some pictures from my Fourth of Jewel-eye from my brand new digital camera. The inaugural pics ! You have Todd Edwards grilling like he's on the cover of "Weber Aficionado" and The Blands doing some sort of newfangled hula to honor our state of Hawaii. We had a great barbecue with some stand-out desserts. I will give you some other bullet points because I am too tired to write paragraphs. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERRRICA ! Please stop blowing it. We love you, now let's get it together.

* We had our first rehearsal today. The cast is a DELIGHT and I can't wait to perform with everyone. The running order is fun and goofy. More on that to come.

* Penny is thriving in the northwoods. Some highlights have included her being a good girl off her leash, spooning her grandma at night and snuggling with my dad while everyone is gone.

* Brendan and I played The Lottery last night iO and it was a lot of fun.

* We are packing in anticipation of our subletters Rachel and Colin. They are a wonderful couple who we really lucked out on.

* If Nicole Ritchie is pregnant she will be lucky if she births a saltine. I mean like a goddamn oyster cracker.

Here is where we'll be next week:

Sun - Barcelona
Mon - At Sea
Tue - Messina
Wed - Naples/Pompeii
Thu - Rome (Civitavecchia)
Fri - Florence/Pisa (Livorno)
Sat - Nice (Villefranche)
Sun - Barcelona

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT ? Things are heatin' up ya'll !

PROGRESS

We are less than a week away ya'll ! This will be a quickie because the subtitle to this week for Brendan and I is "Errand-stravaganza".

Dog Drop 8000 went MORE than better as planned ! She's having a ball at my folks and cuddling my mom. I was real sad to leave yesterday but my mom is giving me 3-a-day updates till I leave. It's just weird to be back in Chicago and not have her in the house.

A favorite moment from our trip to the northwoods with my folks. We were sitting in a resort bar having some beers and watching the local Rhinelander (http://www.rhinelanderchamber.com/) news. They had a small segment about the new iphone and a local poll that went along with it.

Do you plan on purchasing the new Apple iphone ?

0% yes

100% no

To which someone in the bar replied "Erg. So much for progress".

UP NORT'

Tomorrow we embark for doggie drop 8000 at the folks' compound in WI. My parents, for those of you who don't know, live in an amazing lake house in a town called Mercer. It is about a half a mile from jack shit and about an hour to the Michigan border. This is where the pup will be staying for four months. My parents have two amazing labs, Roscoe and Louie (lovingly nicknamed "ham tongue" and "big brain" by my best pal Michelle because they are both pushing 100lbs) who will take great care of their niece. Not feeling too sad which is good. Above I've posted a picture of Penny and her dog pal Tiki from last Halloween. Tiki is Tim and Erin's dog and she is dressed as our country's flight-a-natrix Amelia Earhart. Penny is dressed as our country's favorie orange dream, a pumpkin.

I've also, as promised, posted some pics from PRIDE! Emily and I are lezzin' it up ! I kept waiting for the 1984 Chicago Bears to be in the parade, but alas, they never made it. And how about Rob Lindley and those mullets ! They were clearly waiting for the '84 Bears too. YIKES. Photo Credit: Emily D and Al Scramuels.

My last piece is called: Hells Yeah Montrose Dog Beach. Now Brendan and I go there every day with our pooch. We are very lucky to be unemployed like galldarn bums so we can make this journey. It's a real great place. Tons of space, a nice shallow patch for the puppies who don't really like to swim (Penny), and it's completely fenced in. Then their are the characters. Our favorite one to date is who Brendan refers to as "Debbie Downer of Dog Beach". She's a lady in her late 30's with a real cute dog who we'll call Dooze Rod (not real name. but this lady loves her dog so much I'm afraid she's at home googling her dog's name with insane frequency. I'm also naming my next dog "Dooze Rod"). Right away we knew there was something a teence bit askance about her. She's very into telling Dooze Rod to "GO PLAY !! GO PLAY!!" in a very loud voice. I feel like Dooze Rod looks at her like "No shit hippy. Me DOG, no leash. Do I tell you to wear that tunic everyday"? We've had a few weirdo interactions with DD but the other day sealed the deal for moi. We're frolicking in the water and she's standing next to us spewing something about how wonderfully trained her dog is. All of a sudden we spot an amazing 3 month old pit bull puppy on the beach. This thing is reedonk. Big paws, flopping around with a very cute young couple and all three are clearly having a ball. Brendan and I are swooning. This dog is movie material. I say "Oh my. Look at that puppy !" To which DD responds "Yeah. Well. That dog's gonna get sick. It doesn't have its shots yet. Real dangerous for it to be out here". Good night DD. That's when I walked away. Can the world not enjoy the simple innocence of a new puppy ? Not in DD's world. All she says is disease and horror. A real cesspool of dumps. She then approached the young couple and talked their ear off about what they should be doing. For an awkwardly long amount of time. Yup, you're a regular dog whisperer DD. Keep it up and we'll see you in November !

It'll be a few days till I post ya'll. Mom and Dad have dial-up so I'd be faster sending a letter to all of you. On foot. Kisses till then !